MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL

I looked at myself in the mirror and exclaimed to myself.. “ I am a self made individual”. The reflection in the mirror mocked and asked " Really" ?!!

This gentle mocking made me stop and retrospect . It made me realise that I am made of too many aspects of my own blood line. I have my father’s ethics and discipline, my mother’s thrifty nature and compassion ( to the point of going out of the way countless times), I have my aunt’s scathing sarcasm( which I have toned down to avoid hurting others), I have my other aunt’s gentle shyness and awkwardness, I am also made up of my grandfather’s kindness, humility and persistence, my grandmother’s resilience, unending energy, zest and rustic roughness, my maternal uncles’ desire to learn music and their way of handling money, the “never give up” toughness of my ancestors while they moved through difficult times in their lives.

I stand here and breathe because I am made up of all of them and I carry them inside me. There is no separation from these aspects. I am not the so called “self made individual”. Infact I AM because they WERE/ARE. How beautiful ! Gratitude wells up.

Amidst all these different shades of different people in me, I still search for ME.

Who am I?

It is a journey which unfolds bit by bit. When I look at the family tree I do realise that there is ME as well in the person who gate crashed through the conventions, impulsive and brash individual who stood her ground amidst the suffocating aspects of the society and refused to budge, the ability to do things differently, breaking away from the family patterns which did not suit me and perhaps a few more other traits. Well.. let me stop here

.. ahem.. !

Point is.. each of us have a family lineage which we cannot escape.

Keep the aspects of the lineage which suit our temperament and times, rest.. yes break free and create a route while honoring the roots !!

-Pragti

Fiction ..?

It was 150 years later on this planet. 

Roughly the year 2173 in terms of time.                    

She had managed to gently cross the borders of mortality and learnt the art of mastering the molecules of her body. She knew the art of cellular rejuvenation and the secrets of the fountain of youth.

An arduous journey on this planet with chaos, confusion, deaths, violence .. she had seen all of it in these 300 years of the transition of this planet. The challenge lay in rising in consciousness, turning soft, keeping an open heart and being love... and watching the cruel world turn more cruel until it destroyed itself. 

Finally the new age does dawn.. 

Along with many others she enters the gates of the dawn of golden age where love, peace, harmony , creativity are the language of the beings. A tired traveller that she is.. she takes up the post of a teacher at a school . Her subject is “history of  transition” ( of this planet). Of course she could hear the kids think “ yawwwn, what a boring subject. Who wants to know what happened hundreds of years ago”😜🤣.  Inwardly she grits her teeth and thinks “ blady brats. You are enjoying this beautiful planet which has entered a golden era because your ancestors slogged it out in the transition period. They broke grids, they broke conventions.. they found new routes. They suffered in the third dimensional reality to usher this golden period”.  

But she was deft with the art of telling stories and making history interesting. 

She begins “ It was not like how it is now. Plants and animals were treated brutally because the human consciousness was low”. 

Her students are all wide eyed and horrified at this revelation because all they knew and understood was love for nature and animals. 

One student asks “ could you transport us back in time and show the clipping “?!! 

She shudders and says “ NO. Let’s not time travel. Theory is enough for now”. 

She goes on to explain how the humans had closed their heart regions and slowly it took years for them to open up and become more advanced , conscious beings. 

Another student asks “ were you there when all this happened? Did you live in those times ?”

There is a brief silence and then she answers  uncomfortably in one word “ Yes”. The class looks at her like she is an antique and say “ ohh my “ ! 

They ask for more stories. 

And she says “ enough for today “. 

And begins walking out of the classroom still struggling with the violent memories of the planet’s past, a lover whom she lost to death, a love story that couldn’t anchor itself on the third dimensional reality... the cruelty on the planet. Her love for nature.. All of these flood back and she realises she is yet to heal those last traces of agony. 

As she walks out of the grand learning centre., the sun shines  brilliantly kissing her face. 

He stood there waiting for her in the gardens. And asks her telepathically “ so how was school today ?!” And she smiles answering “ good. These kids need to value the journey of their ancestors “ . He laughs and says “ they are kids. Let them be “ ! 

He senses her and asks “ Are you still thinking of how I brutally abandoned you 160 years ago and died ?” . 

She says “ yes. It wasn’t easy”. 

He says “ but the love never died. We are here now” 

P. S.     There is a thin line between real life and fiction. We do not know where one ends and the other begins. 

Of Yore..

 I used to watch them while I was barely a kid.

Their times together was mostly early mornings in the dim kitchen light over a cup of tea and Marie biscuits. There was an old chair and a small round wooden table in a corner where he sat and sipped his tea leisurely while enjoying his Marie biscuits.. before he proceeded with the rest of the morning chores. That corner was mostly his. While she sipped her tea sitting near the gas stove, they talked nineteen to dozen. They spoke on Politics, a few relatives a little bit of this and that. By that time the sun would have risen and their usual chores began.

Puja, breakfast, him going to the office. While she got ready to cook lunch.

As the evening approached it was time for their tea routine again. Post dinner they spoke quite a bit while falling asleep. I would hear talks of the 9 pm news that they would have watched.

This way days, years and even decades passed in raising half a dozen kids, entertaining grand children during summer and winter holidays,celebrating festivals so on and so forth.

If I look at it now, he was the provider and she was the home maker. They stood by each other. Of course i have seen them have small fights over petty issues. But that would have sorted itself out by morning tea.

I sometimes question myself “ what was the nature and basis of relationships of yesteryears ? Was there love ? Was their romance ? ( perhaps there was no time for all this). What was the primary purpose ? Maybe to survive and raise a family, do well for themselves and their kids while existing within the borders of the conventional society. Whether there was love, romance or not.. this much I can vouch for that there was "Respect" "stability" and "affection". I smile when I think of them and ask myself “ was that enough”? Maybe for those times ..yes. And that kept life simple.

As for now, well.. we have moved ahead a lot , isn’t it ? Or shall we say it’s quite complicated in the current times :-).

Although I don’t agree with the “ old ways” completely.. I tend to pick some precious things from those old times. Things like “‘respecting each other”, “Stability “ “Affection”. They may not be enough during these times, but they form the foundation for a long journey together. Without these.. things fall apart.

And oh yes.. I watched them as their grand daughter :-) . And that corner where he sat on his chair with that round table, we grandchildren called it as "Grandpa's chair and table".

Both my maternal grandparents have left this earthly plane and I as their grand daughter offer my respects, gratitude and love for many things that i received from them while they were alive.. and genetically as well.

The Stag and the Girl

 

It’s nice to indulge oneself in the land of fiction once in a while. Although sometimes there are very thin lines between facts and fiction. One can imitate the other. At times facts are stranger than fiction.

So here I go into another narration which is like a fiction

now.. but i hope that someday our beloved planet may reach these states and my fiction turns into reality.

One century later somewhere in the year 2121..

It’s a land of peace and harmony, where love prevails supreme. Nature is placed on high pedestal and much deservedly so. Beings and animals co exist. In the nearby woods, a stag and a girl are lying on the grass lazily, doing nothing but enjoying the serenity. It’s a stag with proud horns,a strong body and dangerous hooves which could gallop at a lightning speed. And yet.. his eyes sparkled with kindness,wisdom and love. The girl although wise, was a mischief monger who felt life’s no fun unless one is upto something all the time.

As she lay on the grass talking to the stag telepathically, she said “ I am ever so glad that we have left behind the dark ages where the likes of you feared the humans.I am so happy that all the animals are safe and happy now". The stag visits the harsh memories with his eyes carrying a tinge of sadness at the cruelty that had endangered the animal kingdom a century ago. The girl quickly sensing his sadness, holds his face in her hand and kisses his forehead saying “ it’s ok. It’s all over now. “.

Suddenly she says.. “ come on , get up ! Let’s have a race ..you and me ! Let’s see who reaches the end of the woods first !” The stag looks at her with great affection and sarcasm simultaneously and thinks “ silly girl! Doesn’t she know who can win ? And yet she plays this game !’ The girl knew in her heart that she cannot beat the strength and speed of the stag and smiles to herself ! And yet.. she wanted to do it ! Her lean and lithe body roboust with health begins to run, almost sprint.. looking over her back every now and then to see if the stag is catching up ! She looks like a beautiful being from the magical land as she runs across the woods .. trying to reach the winning point .

While the stag waits patiently for her to reach half of the distance as it didn’t need to rush to defeat her. And then it rubs its hooves against the earth and takes off with one giant leap and begins to run, the very sight of which looked like a breathtaking vision! The sound of it's hooves was heard across the woods in a rhythmic fashion. It’s glorious body taking leaps and bounds with the speed of lightning.

The girl is quite close to the finishing point and at that moment.. the stag who is right behind her.. takes one last gigantic leap and touches the finishing point in one clean sweep.. while the girl shrieks like a happy child and gently drops on the soft grass laughing away at her own defeat,while the stag nuzzles her face gently ! She says to the stag “ I knew you would win.. like every time” .. to which the stag replies .. “ and yet you play this game “!!

She holds the stag’s face closer and laughs again in delight ,while the whole ambience is bathed in the tender early morning rays of the sun.The birds are heard chirping.. while the other animals loiter around fearlessly..the sight of which stamps the fact that heavens had been finally hauled on earth.

She gently says “ come on . Time to walk back home. Others will be looking for us”

As they walked back home, the trees and animals in the wood whispered about the love that held the girl and the stag together.

They were inseparable!

-Pragti

I love to write..

If i have to put it in a most simple and unadorned way i can state that " I simply love to write". 

Image courtesy : Coskun Cokbulan

There is this beautiful energy which stirs up in the heart region and waits to express itself.  All i have to do weave that energy into words and sentences which flow with ease of their own accord. Each time i put together something or express something through writing, there is a joy inexplicable bordering on ecstasy. For me.. it is deeply  soul satisfying .

Never had i dreamt that one day i would express so much through writing. Infact it was never on my agenda or ambition.Then one fine day it suddenly happened... just like that!! Inspired by nature, events, humans, situations and life itself... "writing" happened  almost a decade ago. To think of it i had never taken it seriously while i wrote about loads of things which touched me deeply. I was more like this playful kid who thought she is  having some fun while she had found the magical land of writing. It had not occurred to me that i had discovered something precious. 

But of late... i feel like a grown up who has suddenly realised that "writing" is something which i love deeply. And i know not when did this playful thing turn into a deep love affair. I feel so grateful for being able to express as and when something inspires me. On some days i feel deeply blessed for the gift of this ability. 

"Writing" and "Me" started off as friends.. and along the way we fell in deep love with each other. And i know that this love is here to stay for all of eternity. 

On "by the flowing river" i shall be posting as and when i write, touching upon varied topics.