This gentle mocking made me stop and retrospect . It made me realise that I am made of too many aspects of my own blood line. I have my father’s ethics and discipline, my mother’s thrifty nature and compassion ( to the point of going out of the way countless times), I have my aunt’s scathing sarcasm( which I have toned down to avoid hurting others), I have my other aunt’s gentle shyness and awkwardness, I am also made up of my grandfather’s kindness, humility and persistence, my grandmother’s resilience, unending energy, zest and rustic roughness, my maternal uncles’ desire to learn music and their way of handling money, the “never give up” toughness of my ancestors while they moved through difficult times in their lives.
I stand here and breathe because I am made up of all of them and I carry them inside me. There is no separation from these aspects. I am not the so called “self made individual”. Infact I AM because they WERE/ARE. How beautiful ! Gratitude wells up.
Amidst all these different shades of different people in me, I still search for ME.
Who am I?
It is a journey which unfolds bit by bit. When I look at the family tree I do realise that there is ME as well in the person who gate crashed through the conventions, impulsive and brash individual who stood her ground amidst the suffocating aspects of the society and refused to budge, the ability to do things differently, breaking away from the family patterns which did not suit me and perhaps a few more other traits. Well.. let me stop here
.. ahem.. ! Point is.. each of us have a family lineage which we cannot escape.
Keep the aspects of the lineage which suit our temperament and times, rest.. yes break free and create a route while honoring the roots !!
-Pragti
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